


Hollwood? Heck No!  (AKA, This might as well happen: The accidental adventures of an ex-college kid)

by fancyf1amingozz



Category: Original Work
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Gen, Las Vegas, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:48:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26474422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancyf1amingozz/pseuds/fancyf1amingozz
Summary: This tale is that of an ex-college kid turned celebrity, and the wacky stories that ensue.  This is an original work, and I'm not sure where exactly its going to go.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Hollwood? Heck No!  (AKA, This might as well happen: The accidental adventures of an ex-college kid)

Felicity never liked to be the center of attention. She preferred a quiet life with everything in order and nothing unexpected. Her friends always joked that, in another life, she and Mr. Baggins would have been the best of friends. Fame was not her goal when she moved to California, and it had never been further from her mind than when she applied for a summer internship at Disney studios in the costume department. But life had other plans for her.

As soon as she walked in the doors to the studio, three people were on her; one furious that she was late, one trying to hand her coffee, and one trying to put makeup on her. They refused to let her get a word in edgewise, and herded her to a set room. Immediately, the man in the director’s chair began to scold her. 

“Good God, Elizabeth! Where have you been? We’ve been looking all over for you! How many times have I told you that rehearsals start at 10!? It’s 10:09 for God’s sake!” Felicity stood there, a bit stunned. “Well, have you anything to say for yourself?!”

“Yes,” Felicity began, “My name is Felicity Jones, and I am here to start my internship in the costume department. If you could please tell me where that is, I would be exceedingly grateful.” The director blinked in confusion. 

A brunet in a Gladiator costume, who had been watching from the side, jumped in. “Up those stairs, the second door on your left. Then, down the hall. It’s the third door on the right.” 

“Thank you,” Felicity replied with a smile.

“Any time,” he responded. She turned to make her way up the stairs when he called, “But before you go, would you mind helping us run some lines and being a placeholder so we can get the shot set up?” Felicity sighed and made a decision she would come to love and hate equally for the rest of her life. 

Her roommates, Allistor and Alexander, were very concerned when she got home late that night. She explained everything to them and they were still concerned. The next day when a studio official came knocking on the door, Allistor answered it and sent him on his way. He said that he used charm and tact to fend off the official, but Alex and Felicity were convinced that it was more likely the fact that it was laundry day and that Allistor was an intimidating man, especially when clad in naught but a kilt.  
The next week, another two officials came, but this time they were met with Allistor in a kilt, and Alex in Lederhosen. Not because it was laundry day, but because they had just lost a bet. For any normal person, this second encounter would be enough to keep them away forever, but the studio was not deterred. The third time, they sent Nancy Kingston, a new manager-type person who had dropped out of law school.

After that day, things spilled into chaos. The real Elizabeth Madison (stage name Elizabeth Smith) pulled a Dread Pirate Roberts and faked her death using Felicity's name, and left Felicity the mantle of Elizabeth Smith. It was a rocky beginning, and a year later, after being in two highly successful movies, Felicity -- who went by Elizabeth now -- regretted everything immensely. Because of a series of choices, most of which were Nancy’s and not hers, she became a celebrity in the incredible time-frame of a year. 

And in true celebrity spirit, she woke up in her underwear, in a random hotel in… somewhere. There were a few people that she barely knew sprawled around the room. A leopard lounged at the foot of the bed, and Elizabeth felt obscenely hungover. 

Shaking her head, she climbed out of bed and over two passed-out guys to take a shower. It was barely 6:45 and the sun was beginning to stream through the gaps between the blackout shade and the window. The hotel soaps were stamped with the scripted ‘B’ she had memorized from previous visits, and the TV she could see in the bathroom mirror only confirmed that she was in Vegas. There were few places Elizabeth hated more than Vegas. 

The leopard joined her halfway through her shower. It was wearing a heavy gold and diamond collar that said “KITTY” on it.  
“That is a terrible name,” she said to the leopard as she pulled the collar off and tossed it aside. The cat gently put a paw on her arm, and she noticed it was declawed. Memories flashed back. A scared, declawed leopard was muzzled and chained in a kid’s room. 'Oh, that’s right. I bought an abused leopard,' she remembered.

After copious amounts of soap were used on both of them, they stepped out of the shower. The leopard behaved like a well-trained mastiff. Elizabeth wrapped up in a robe and snagged a bed sheet to dry off the cat with. She rifled around in her purse until she found the sturdy but elegant creamy leather collar with the name ‘Selena’ embroidered into it. There was the lead and muzzle that she had bought in the bag as well. She took it all to the bathroom, and began to dry Selena. The cat was very patient and held still though the blow drying process and the brushing fiasco that followed.

The last thing Stanley Thomas expected to see was some lady grooming a leopard when he walked into the bathroom at 7:30 in the morning. Stanley was beyond confused and his hangover didn’t help. Elizabeth managed to get her things together, find Stanley’s clothes, and get both of them out the door without waking the miscellaneous others in the room. Selena was incredibly well behaved throughout the whole thing.  
The awkward trio made their way out of the room, ditching everyone else in the process. The waiters in the restaurant didn’t even bat an eye as they gave the pair a corner table and went to get a bowl of water and a steak for Selena. Elizabeth looked like she was on her way to high tea, and Stanley looked like a hungover disaster. 

“How do you do it?” He grumbled.

“Do what?” Elizabeth glanced up from the menu.

“You drank, like, half a bottle of champagne and then bourbon and jack on top. Then you got maybe four hours of sleep? And you don’t even look slightly hungover. It’s not fair.”

Elizabeth chuckled, “Well, what do I look like?”

“Like a bloody Disney princess.” Elizabeth nearly did a spit take as she choked on her water. “What?” Stanley threw his hands up. “You don’t have a strand of hair out of place, your dress looks like it’s fresh out of the cleaners, and you have an exotic animal companion,” he finished, waving his arms at the leopard.

“So sue me,” Elizabeth shrugged. “Show biz replaced my heart with another liver so I could drink more and care less. Do you want to split an order of Acre Waffles with me? The bread will help with the hangover.” Stanley shot her a confused look. “What? When you drink your stomach produces more acid than normal. The bread absorbs it,” Elizabeth shrugged. 

Stanley was going to say something but when his eyes met her no-nonsense gunmetal blue ones, he just nodded and ate his waffles when they came out. Selena polished off two steaks and Elizabeth apologised for being a horrible date. Stanley laughed it off and insisted on tipping even though Elizabeth had the bill. They shook hands and went their separate ways. It was about a year before they met again.

Elizabeth spent the rest of the week figuring out what had happened that night. Apparently someone had crashed her car into The Benedict’s fountains. Someone else had ridden in with a camel-drawn shopping cart chariot, and she had raced them in her own camel-shopping-cart-chariot and won, which explained the foreign money and tie pin in her wallet. That had happened after she bought/rescued Selena. She remembered that because Selena had been in the cart with her, which is probably why she won. Now she had to figure out where she could keep a leopard. Thankfully, there were plenty of responsible big cat sanctuaries on the west coast. Elizabeth spent the better part of a day setting a plan up with an established place just outside of Los Angeles. All she needed to do was square up a few things, and take a quick road trip.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! Like I said in the beginning, I'm not sure how this is going to end up, but originally it was Oceans 11 fan-fiction, so, probably somewhere around there. This chapter was loosely inspired by the Panic! At the Disco song "Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time", hence the chapter title.
> 
> Feel free to leave questions, comments, and/or concerns, and stay tuned for the next chapter
> 
> xx- Fancy.


End file.
